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Marriage.CharacterTesting.comGet "back-to-the-basics" with your Marriage, Dating, Family, Friends, and/or Employment Relationships.Solving Conflicts LLC Presents: |
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Pure Gold: "Engaging, wise, and chock full of ideas ~ Paul Coleman, Psy. D., author of "How to Say It for Couples: Communicating with Tenderness, Openness, and Honesty" |
Can We Dance? “After reading this book, I have a new-found appreciation for the importance of really exploring myself to know what character qualities I need my mate to possess.” “I love the combination of information, reflection, and interaction with the arts. This approach is present, reflective and emotionally, spiritually provocative.” “Can We Dance? helped me to examine my beliefs, clarify my motivations, and analyze every step from friendship to a serious relationship. It is full of great tools that are both fun and immediately useful.” |
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Jacob comes up with a plan. He decides that he will never bring up the subject of Emily's insensitivity again. Instead, he begins to discus with her the positive quality of objectivity. When he does this, he discovers that she has an aptitude and an interest to understand objectivity. She seems to be able to handle the discussion of it without any argument. Oddly enough, the more Emily begins to learn about the proper use of objectivity from Jacob, the less she misuses it as insensitivity. Jacob discovers that it never seems to offend Emily as they go out to a social gathering if he says to her, "Now please remember, Honey, be strong with your quality of objectivity, and use it wisely." Remember this! Do not ever forget it! Tie a string around your finger if that is what it takes for you to remember this. Luck has nothing to do with a happy and successful marriage. So, you married your spouse because at that moment in time you were in love with the person who you thought would make a wonderful lifelong marriage partner. Perhaps you thought that he or she was just two wings short of perfection. However, since then, you discovered he or she was a mere mortal with more flaws than you considered possible at the very beginning of your relationship. You cannot determine nor dictate to him or her what his or her next choice is going to be concerning how he or she treats you or whether he or she gives you the respect that you deserve; however, you can determine and dictate to your own self what your next choice is going to be concerning how you treat them and how you respond to the way they treat you. You can choose the right thing or the wrong thing, and no one in the entire world can stop you. Whether your marriage is successful or not so successful, the only thing you can do is make your next choice the best possible character choice that you can make ...followed by the next ..and the next ...one good choice at a time! What To Do Next? 1. This one you are going to have to choose for yourself. 2. It may be very helpful to review your best strengths. 3. It may be very helpful to identify and avoid the strengths that have gotten you in trouble in the past. 4. It may be very helpful to spend some quiet time reflecting on what your next choice needs to be. 5. It may be necessary to seek for help from a trusted family member, a trusted friend, or a professional counselor. 6. It may be necessary tell your spouse that you are sorry and that you need a "do-over". 7. It may also be necessary to offer your spouse forgiveness and allow them to have a "do-over". There is a strange irony at work here. When you conclude that getting lucky has nothing to do with the success of your marriage, you will quickly discover that getting lucky is the result. |